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Knowing Your Values Will Help You Grow

Lai Han Sam · Sep 30, 2019 · Leave a Comment

Values are the important ingredients that determine how we do things, make important decisions and derive meaning. It is the way we believe to be our standard of behavior and how we live our lives.

You can see a person’s values by the way they speak, treat others and the work they do. You can see values in a company’s tagline, vision and how their employees speak about them. Values are who they are and how they operate. When you think of Mother Theresa, you think compassionate – that is one of her values; when you think of Apple, you think innovation – which is how they have built the company on.

Why are values so important? Everyone has a set of values internally. It is a compass that drives you. When you know your values and live a life or do work that is completely aligned with your values, there is tremendous satisfaction and fulfillment. You will be willing to go the extra mile and still feel energized!

Before knowing my values, I often struggled with what I naturally want to do versus what I think I should be doing. While I make a good living following the latter, I often felt drained and unfulfilled. This led me to numbing activities like shopping, gaming or spending time on activities that would take my mind off my work. Over time, I became frustrated, sad and numb inside. You see, when you numb, you not only block just the negative feelings – you numb ALL feelings. This means I was unable to live in the moment and be truly happy with all that I have.

When I discover my inner value of service to others, I started to see the life I live differently. I seek for ways to serve and to deliver value to others who need help. Eventually I even made the decision to transition to a different field of work to become fully aligned with my values. This gave me great peace and fulfillment. True ikigai – the reason for my being.

So, do you know what your values are? Here are 3 ways you can start the discerning process.

1. When were times you were happiest? What were you doing and why were you so happy?

2. Were there times you felt proud of yourself? Why were you so proud?

3. Lastly, when you felt really fulfilled and content, what desire or need did you satisfy?

Asking yourself these questions will start your journey towards finding out your values. You can also book a Complimentary 30 minutes Values Review Session with me at this link – https://go.oncehub.com/laihansam

Do you know what your values are? Are you living a values-aligned life?

#hansamlai #lifework #valuesareroots

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Hi, I’m Sam, founder of LIFEWORK – a transition coach working exclusively with successful women who want better work-life balance, fulfilling relationships, productive careers and financial freedom.

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We were sending our youngest to school. In the car We were sending our youngest to school. In the car he shared a memory of how he woke up at 5am, to take the first bus from home in order to get to the supermarket early enough to buy things he needed for a school camp with his friends. They had to walk up a slope leading to his school as it sits on a small hill. He shared a running joke between them about how their school would not be too attractive to terrorists since they probably don’t want to walk up the hill. 

My husband and I then shared our own school experiences and memories. The overnights, the shenanigans, long talks and long walks with friends.

That’s all you will remember. Because that’s all that is most important and precious. You don’t know at that time that these seemingly normal moments would be what you remember. 

As we dropped him off, I wondered, at the end of my time here on earth, what would I remember? 
What moments and memories would I have collected?
What would I like to take with me as I leave?
What would I want more of?
What would I want less of?
Who do I want with me? 

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On this International Women’s Day, I want to aff On this International Women’s Day, I want to affirm my purpose.

“I wake up knowing my purpose to serve.

To let women know not to play small.
To let their light shine.
To know they make a difference.

They are important.
They are matter.
They are needed.

I want to help them see themselves as worthy and when they do, I do too.”

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We all want to fit in; to be loved, accepted and b We all want to fit in; to be loved, accepted and be part of something meaningful, belonging to something bigger than ourselves. That desire is part of being human. 

Sometimes, we even do it at the expense of giving up part of ourselves. When we lose part of who we are, we lose our essence. Then, we are just part of something larger. No different from others in the group. 

We don’t have to choose between being ourselves or being part of the group. You see, you can be part of the group yet bring your true essence of who you are. Ironically, this is why a group is needed after all. We need other perspectives, ideas and ways to solve a problem. This is what makes life fun, interesting and curiosity-filled.

We need different. 

It helps us to know ourselves better, facilitate our growth and being deeper in understanding of who we are. Don’t fear differences - embrace, invite and reflect about our differences. Then, find our similarities, and in so doing, we find ourselves.

We have always belonged - we just could not see it.

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Day in a life of a coach #lifework #retreat #poin Day in a life of a coach

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“Don’t walk through the world looking for evid “Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you don’t belong. Because you will always find it. Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you’re not enough. Because you always find it. Our worth and our belonging are not negotiated with other people. We carry those inside of our hearts. And so for me, I know who I am, I’m clear about that. And I’m not going to negotiate that with you. I will negotiate a contract with you, I will negotiate maybe even a topic with you. But I’m not going to negotiate who I am with you. Then I may fit in for you but I no longer belong to myself.”
Brene Brown

This moved me because I was almost always who what people need rather than who I really am. To be able to draw a boundary between myself and others was hard and it took me years to even be able to be comfortable being by myself. To be who I am, what I like or dislike or even what I want to eat! My worth was tied to others and the value I delivered to others - I am not worth anything if I am not of value. To undo that was painful as I had to go deep into my life and really look at each part of me, shed away all that don’t fit and be brave enough to leave all that was left alone - no addition, no subtraction. To be me again. 

#lifework #coaching #transition #self #iamwhoiam

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